(or five conversations that bond and vesper never had)
casino royale. bond/vesper. r. 510 words. for martyr4mylove4u. "I'm an only child," she tells him, "I thought I wanted to be an actress."
what (ada asks) are eyes anyway? two holes in the mask of life.
ada or ardor [nabokov]
In life, she was as light as paper in his arms. Death turns her weight to stone.
"You should have trusted me."
He steps into the shower with his clothes still on.
She is very pale and bleary eyed in the mornings, quiet. She drinks her coffee down very quickly.
"We should quit."
"We did quit."
"I quit. You keep going back."
He lowers his paper.
"It's a process."
She slaps his hand across the table.
"The withdrawal symptoms last just as long as you hang on."
"I'm completely serious. I've got an honest living now."
"Just because you don't get shot at anymore doesn't mean you're making an honest living."
"I'm never comfortable using the word honest for accountants."
He flips his hand over. Her fingers rest against his wrist.
"That's it? No fight? Just okay?"
"No is not an opinion, Lynd."
"It's my opinion."
They are in bed. She is lying on her stomach with her legs in the air.
"You should have been a politician," she says, a cigarette dangling unlit from her lips.
"You're very smooth."
"And that," she agrees. Her eyes lift up. "What would you have done-- if you'd done something normal?"
"I wouldn't describe politics as normal."
He leans forward. Lights her cigarette.
"I don't know," he says, honestly, "I hadn't thought about it."
"I guess-- when I was younger. Nothing ever stuck. I kept falling in and out phases-- I wanted to be a doctor, then I wanted to be a writer. I was always terrible at making up my mind, which was a shame, because I, you know. Did fairly well at school and just sort of didn't have definitive ambition. And then one brother became a doctor and the other a writer." He grins, a little. "So, I ended up here." His hand passes over his forehead. "I suppose that's how a lot of us find their way into M16. For lack of anything better to do"
"You have brothers?"
She sits up. Her knees fold into her chest.
"I'm an only child," she tells him, "I thought I wanted to be an actress."
"I'm never doing that again."
She purses her lips. "No more public places, Mr. Bond."
"Oh, don't be--"
"That child saw me naked, James!"
"That child was fifteen and had no business calling an elevator at that hour of night anyway."
Her nails leaves marks on his back.
"Those your only war wounds, Bond?"
"Are you challenging me, Vesper?"
"I wish I knew you better."
"I don't know," she twists her fingers nervously, "I don't know."
His laugh is hollow and loud.
"Things always look best when they're incomplete, Vesper."
"First thing you learn in this business. Don't look too hard at anyone."
"Otherwise they become people?"
"Otherwise, they exist."
"So, that's what you're afraid of then?"
He swallows his drink.
He sleeps like a corpse with his eyes still open.